“Y’all not married yet?” asked 103-year-old Vera Anderson. My friend V and I chuckled as we sat on Mother Anderson’s living room couch. “No, not yet,” we replied in unison. She pushed further, “Are you engaged to marry?” Our negative answers immediately prompted her prayer for the right partner to come our way and for God’s perfect will, provision, and protection to be over us. I could’ve laughed at the typical “old church lady” behavior, but I was amazed at how quick she turned to God on our behalf. I’ve never met someone who could crack a joke in one breath and speak in heavenly tongues in the next.
She was born Vera Boston on October 26th, 1923 in Guyana, South America. An only child, she was raised by her mother and step father. Mother Anderson reminisced about her education in the Anglican school where manners, such as punctuality, good hygiene, and reverence were instilled. “You had to do everything right,” she explained. Nails and teeth had to be clean, knotted “stale hair” students were provided combs, and slow-footed latecomers were shut out of the school. Mother Anderson recalled walking alongside her step father at 7 a.m. as he traveled to work. Too early to report to school, she’d visit and eat breakfast with a motherly Portuguese woman. Other times, she’d go to her friend’s house where they’d lose track of time combing each other’s hair and she’d bathe all over again. When they’d finally reach school, the door was shut. She vividly remembered being beaten with six wild canes. “You couldn’t expect to be late and go free,” she recalled, shaking her head.
Mother Anderson was also expected to keep her head covered with a hat at school and church. Every Saturday, she’d confess to Father before taking first communion. She still remembers the prayer of confirmation, as she knelt in front of the Bishop at 15 years old. He put his hand on her head and said, “Defend, O Lord, this child Vera. With thine heavenly grace and daily increase in her the Holy Spirit more and more until she comes to thy everlasting Kingdom.” She felt, in that moment, that she was saved and knew the Lord.
Anderson ensured that all 13 of her children knew Him as well. Devotion was held in their home every Sunday morning at 5 a.m. Her husband, a Presbyterian and the head of the family, always prayed Psalms 23–The Lord is my Shepherd… The family displayed a plaque above their dining room table, a declaration of faith in their home: “The Lord is my help in times of trouble and He knoweth them that trust in Him.” Anderson was pleased to report that all of her children came to know the Lord. She boasted that even her most troublesome son was secretly baptized and became an evangelist. “From a beast to a priest,” is the family’s running joke. She thanked God that none of her children went to jail or had the cops called on them.
Mother Anderson was encouraged by her eldest son to be water baptized. She decided to be baptized at Assemblies of God in Eckles, Guyana and testified of her transformation from then on. “Going down a sinner and coming up a righteous sinner,” was her story. She admitted that prior to her water baptism, if a wrong was done to her, she had it in her mind to react in anger. However, after her baptism, she was convicted to let hatred go so that genuine love for everyone could come forth. “You can’t say you know the Lord and you don’t love people,” she explained. Mother Anderson felt free after she was baptized and still does to this day. “The things I used to do, I do them no more.” She expressed her gratitude to God for strength because life wasn’t easy.
Mother Anderson also thanked God for the wisdom of her mother. After failing her standard six exam to attend college, Anderson decided that she didn’t want to go back to school. Her mother sent her to work with her cousin–a sewing mistress–who taught Young Vera how to design dresses. She was able to use her skills to make clothing for her five daughters. Her husband, a tailor, made pants and shirts for their eight sons and even taught her how to make shirts. Mother Anderson smiled as she thought of her late husband, who died at the age of 78 in Guyana in April 1998. She deeply admired him and although they were in love, she spoke of a rough patch they endured. Her husband would sometimes use “nasty words,” but Mother Anderson wasn’t one to quickly lash out or argue.
One day, however, while they were having an argument, she chose to speak from her head, not her heart. Anderson personified herself using three proverbs: 1. Not the lack of tongue make cow don’t talk; 2. Still waters run deep; 3. Easy snake does bite hot. But on that fateful day, she finally showed him that she could talk back, too. She paced up and down the house “like a madwoman,” spewing curses and shouting to the top of her voice, “Your mother’s this and that.” All the while, he sat inside the room. When she was done, he was quiet. From that day on, not one of those words came back out of her mouth. She believed that foul language didn’t sound good and worried neighbors could hear. So she prayed, “Father, help me to be as a little child.” Mother Anderson looked at V and me, imploring us to talk to God and consistently ask the Holy Spirit to fill us. She taught us that it is difficult to come against sin and do what’s right without the Holy Spirit. Continuing, she explained that our stomachs aren’t a “bank house” designed to hold negativity and guilt inside. “If He says I’m free, I’m free,” she declared.
As we prepared to go, when asked what advice she would give the next generation, Mother Anderson listed the following:
“If yuh mek yuhself grass, cow gon eat yah.”
The phrase roughly translates to: If you make yourself grass, a cow is going to eat you. Value yourself high and set boundaries. Emphasizing her point, she explained, “Even if you’re engaged, keep yourself. Don’t find yourself in any dark place or with him alone. Everywhere you go [with him], walk with someone to accompany you. Engagement is not marriage.”
“Black and white, always right.”
A more modern take is, “Write it down, make it plain.” Mother Anderson spoke of the traditional approach to courtship, in which the male visits her parents with a handwritten letter. I inquired of my dad if he knew about this Guyanese practice, and he explained that it’s called, “Writing Home.” The gentleman, if serious about taking the next step, would hand deliver a letter to the girl’s parents detailing his intentions to marry, especially if she was under the age of consent. Afterwards, the couple’s parents would meet to discuss the potential union.
“Don’t play like you’re so anxious to marry. Play like you don’t care.”
Although you may be excited and eager to marry, be level headed, wise, and patient. These qualities will help in deciphering the right life partner.
“Make sure you know his entire family before you consent to marry him.”
If you’re aware of his/her family and their beliefs, you’ll be able to know what they are involved with, including witchcraft. Ensure that they are true believers. Mother Anderson expressed that she loved her in-laws. Evidently, she was often mistaken as the biological Anderson, instead of her husband.
“Speak the truth and speak it ever, cause it what it will. He who hides the wrong he does, does the wrong thing still.”
Anderson stated that one life lesson she learned is that truth and lies don’t work together. Truth is truth! “You don’t need anything false to hold up the truth,” she expanded. “You may look around and see there isn’t a human witness to your lies, but God is watching.”
Vera Anderson is someone I have come to admire. Although her eyesight, hearing, and physical strength were dull, her mind was as sharp as a tack. I was honored to be a recipient of each word bestowed and I hope others can glean from her life story.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for Your redemptive love and faithfulness to me. I pray that You will bless me with long life, just as You’ve done for Mother Anderson. Lord, impart unto me wisdom to apply to my life and share with those around me. Remind me, Holy Spirit, to come to You for all things because it is in You that I live, move, and have my being. Please make me more like You every day, in Jesus’ name, Amen.
